


Slow down and open up

by RCas



Series: Season 11 [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Post-Episode: s11e03 Plus One
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 12:26:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13787745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RCas/pseuds/RCas
Summary: After the events of Plus One, Mulder and Scully take the plunge into a deeper relationship, one that isn't dependent on the X Files. In facing her fears, Scully gets to learn something new about Mulder.





	Slow down and open up

"Scully. Scully, wake up." She was warm and waking came slow. Mulder had his hand on her thigh, gently shaking her, while the other was on the wheel.

"Where are we?" She asked, looking around in the dark. She'd fallen asleep on their drive back from Henrico County, Virginia, tired after three nights of being woken up. They didn't get much sleep before they checked out of the hotel, not that that had been Mulder's intention.

"We're nearly home. Do you want to stay at the house tonight, or the apartment?"

It was a simple question, and Mulder had asked in a carefully neutral voice. The house or the apartment. He hadn't said my house or your apartment. Since they'd come back to work on the X files they'd spent time at both, the apartment in DC being the easier choice after late nights working at the Hoover building. She tended to think of it as her apartment. It had been in the time they were separated. Even though she'd hardly visited him at the house, a part of her still called that home. He didn't know this, of course, because she'd never told him.

"The house." It was Friday and they weren't going in over the weekend. He nodded, turning his eyes back to the road. As he drove, Scully wondered why this was so hard. Last night in the hotel when she'd asked him to hold her it almost felt easy. Their awkward conversation followed by passionate sex was familiar, too. A pattern they'd known for years.

She was surprised to see the house in the headlights, a measure of how much she'd been lost in her thoughts. The house was unremarkable, but over the years it had taken on the dark, comfortable atmosphere of Mulder's old apartment. He parked the car and turned to look at her, an unspoken question on his face. It was always there on the nights she stayed: would she sleep with him in the bed or in the spare bedroom downstairs?

They trudged up the stairs, Mulder unlocking the front door. The living room looked unchanged from its recent remake after a trip to Ikea. He flipped on the light switch, dim light pooling from two table lamps. A dim room was still his style.

Mulder headed for the kitchen, Scully still standing near the entryway.

"You staying?" He asked, a glass of water in hand, as she stood just inside the door still holding her briefcase.

"Yeah," she said, setting it down. He was looking at her, his face carefully closed. She knew he was wondering what she would do. This morning's events suggested that she'd sleep with him, curled up against his back, breathing in his warmth. She yearned for it. He would love it. Why was it so hard then to do it?

"Mulder, how the hell did we get here?"

"Scully, I know you know the way to the house," he said, the corners of his mouth twisting. "So what do you mean by here?"

"Here. In this weird orbit around each other where we only come into contact on rare occasions. Here, where we still need excuses to be together." Her voice was tipped with exasperation, she could hear it - and it both annoyed and frightened her. This constant battle with herself over needing him and not wanting to need him was suddenly more than she could take.

"Excuses, Scully? Like homicidal, mentally ill twins playing hang man?" There was a glint in his eye that she recognized and knew all too well - he was buying time, creating distance, not sure that he really wanted to cross this line.

"That's just the flavor of the week, Mulder. I mean here - right here - where we're unwilling to talk about what we really want." Dana was tingling all over, her body preparing for a full blown argument. But that wasn't what her heart wanted. Her heart wanted to know if they could be more to each other. "Mulder, haven't we been doing this for too long, dancing around our feelings, hiding in the work or the sex or the arguments?"

He sat his glass down on the table, his eyes staying on her face as he took off his suit jacket and took three steps towards her. The intensity of his look held her still, and the tingling turned to a throbbing. Her heart was in her throat.

"Oh, that's what you mean," he said softly. "Are you saying you want something else? Something more?"

He crossed the distance between them, looking down at her with an expression she couldn't read.

"Do you?"

He shook his head. "This has never been about me, Scully. I've made it clear that I want more. This has always been about what you want."

"What?" It came out as a gasp and his face registered surprise at her response. "You've always made it clear? I, Mulder, I haven't felt that way. I have no idea what you want."

"Scully, you know I love you," he said, reaching up to cup her cheek. "I've told you."

"Yes, Mulder, you've told me," she was shaking her head. "But that doesn't imply that you want a life together outside of the Bureau. Or that you want intimacy."

"It doesn't?" He had just the slightest quirk at one corner of his mouth.

She blinked and looked down. How could this be true? All these years he thought that his few scattered I love yous meant that he wanted her here, in his house and in his life, day in and day out. She couldn't believe he meant that. Scully shook her head again.

"No, Mulder, you're not getting off that easy," she looked up at him. "I love you doesn't mean, hey Scully, why don't we live out the rest of our days together. It doesn't mean I want you through everything. It doesn't mean that you're willing to be open with me, to share yourself with me, to be vulnerable. It does not in any way tell me that you want more from me."

He didn't say anything, and as he stood looking down into her face, Dana could feel her heart beat. It thundered in her chest, reverberated through her body. He brought his other hand up to her face.

"Is that what you want Scully? Total openness? Vulnerability? Sharing space? Compromising so we can be together?" The green of his eyes darkened. "Neither one of us has been particularly good at those things."

His right thumb was stroking her cheek, small circles that seemed to be bringing her heartrate down. "You're right, Mulder. Neither one of us has been good at those things. We're comfortable in our distance."

She glanced away, her mind struggling to keep up with where her heart was leading. "I don't want that anymore," she said, and looked back to see the cascade of emotions cross his face, his eyes go soft.

"Scully," he pulled her in close to his chest, a longing there that she didn't often hear, especially outside of the bedroom. He held her, stroking her hair and her back. His touch was comforting, but she needed to know what he was feeling. She leaned back so they could see each other. "I love you. I have loved you for so long," he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "This kind of love that you're talking about, it means we both have to change. You know that? You're every bit as independent as I am. "

"You're right, Mulder. I know you're right. There are times when I can't stand to be with you another moment and just want the quiet emptiness of my apartment."

"Yeah, I know," he nodded. "Me too. So are we saying that we're going to give that up, that refuge from each other? We're going to commit to living together and working together?" He laughed. "Scully, you'll be kicking my ass by the end of the first week."

"So you're saying you don't want that?"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm saying I do."

 

 

They talked about giving up the apartment, focusing all of their time together at the house. Realizing it was too convenient for work nights, instead they committed to sleeping in the same bed every night. Scully both wanted it and was terrified by it. She was pretty sure that Mulder felt the same. Even so, they did it, working on creating a rhythm during the week at the apartment. It meant dancing around each other in the mornings to get ready and then finding ways to relax at night.

Scully rolled out of bed well before Mulder on workdays, starting the coffee maker and hitting the shower. Somehow he ended up dressed, sipping a cup of coffee and watching her finish with her morning prep.

"How is it that you're ready before I am when you get up 20 minutes later?" She asked as she curled her hair, Mulder leaning in the door of the bathroom.

He chuckled. "I'm quicker with my hair and makeup." He took another sip, looking relaxed in his dark suit.

"That must be it." She smiled.

"Yeah, and I do my waxing the night before."

"You wax, Mulder? Hmm, I've yet to see evidence of that," she teased him back.

"Well, that's because you haven't looked everywhere, Scully."

She flushed red. He could still do this to her. A glance his direction showed a smug look. He was fully aware of his effect on her. With a quick lift of his eye brows he turned and left her in the bathroom.

 

After two weeks of their new living arrangements, their weekends at the house were entirely different. Evenings in the apartment, Scully tended to read medical journals, keep up on the news, do a little cruising on Facebook to keep up with Bill's family and her cousins. Tara was great about posting pictures of the kids. Mulder had declared the house a JAMA-free zone, so she didn't have her favorite reading material for the weekends. Instead she cleaned, tidied up.

"Mulder," she called from the bedroom where she was picking up clothes from the floor on his side of the bed. She heard him ambling down the hallway to the bedroom.

"Scully."

With a glance over her shoulder she saw him leaning in the doorway, faded old jeans and dark t-shirt. How did he manage to look so good in that simple attire? She looked away, throwing things into the clothes basket.

"It looks like you haven't done laundry for weeks."

He laughed. "Scully, relaxing is hard for you, isn't it?"

She turned to face him, still kneeling behind the bed. "What do you mean? I'm relaxing."

"No, you're cleaning. My side of the bed. Didn't we say that was off limits to you?" A smile played at his lips. He came over and sat on the end of the bed. "You need a hobby."

"Is this where you suggest that we should have sex non-stop as my new hobby?"

His bottom lip was sticking out just so, in that way that made her want to suck it into her mouth. She was starting to think that might be a good idea.

"No. No, I need to keep my hands free," he laughed. "Unless you plan on doing it alone. Besides, I was thinking of something that takes up more time."

She moved to sit next to him, eyeing his lower lip and feeling disappointed.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Pick something. Why don't you read?"

"Mulder, you made me leave my medical journals at the apartment. What am I supposed to read?"

"Scully, yes, I made you leave them," he gave her a stern look. "I mean read something for fun."

"That is fun, Mulder." She flopped back on the bed, hearing herself whine. Dana hadn't read anything for fun in years. Or ever, maybe, now that she thought about it.

"You need a funner version of fun, Scully." He said, leaning back on one arm to look at her.

"Funner fun, Mulder?" She stretched out beneath him. "Why don't you come down here and show me something about funner fun." She licked her lips for good measure.

He smiled. "I'll show you fun, Scully."

 

They'd both fallen asleep after their fun, Scully resting her head on his chest. She remembered the feeling of decadence as she stretched her naked body under his, the luscious feel of their skin meeting. After all the years and challenges, they were still good, very good, together in bed.

Dana woke up to the afternoon sun on face and Mulder gone. Her body felt good, sated, just the right kind of fatigue in her legs and torso. She was surprised that he was up before her. Usually, Mulder's post-coital doze held him for hours. She listened, trying to find him in the house, but she didn't hear anything.

Pulling her jeans and t-shirt back on, she went down stairs quietly. The door to his office was closed, so he must be there. What could he be doing, she wondered. His office, or his den, as she thought of it, was much like their office had been back in the day. His bulletin board was covered in news clippings of UFO sightings, strange events, paranormal reports from around the world. He'd found himself another "I want to believe" poster. There were also pictures of them sitting in frames on his crowded bookshelves next to his photo of Samantha.

She knocked softly and opened the door. "Mulder, what are you doing?"

He was in front of his computer, typing faster than she ever guessed he could. His shoulders were curled towards the screen. He kept typing.

"Mulder?"

He typed a bit more. "Hey, Scully." As he turned towards her she saw his fingers hit the short cut keys to save the document.

"What are you up to? You said no working on weekends."

He turned in his chair and stood, stretching his arms over his head and rolling his neck from side to side.

"I'm not working, not on the X files." He stood and pulled both arms behind his back, stretching his chest. As she watched, she had the feeling he was going through a routine.

"What are you doing?"

He folded over, nowhere near reaching his toes, but obviously stretching his back. This kind of self-care was so unlike him. She waited, her curiosity ratcheting up.

He walked over to her, not quite close enough to touch. When he looked in her eyes Dana saw something surprising there. Was he nervous?

"Scully, you said you wanted an open, honest relationship." He paused, looking at her. He eyes dropped down and his eyebrows shot up. "Wow, this is harder than I imagined." When he raised his eyes to hers again she could see it - he wasn't nervous, he was scared.

"Mulder," she stepped to him, raising her hand to his cheek. "What is it?"

He pulled his lower lip into his mouth, biting just a little. His hand came up to rest on hers. "Scully, you remember when we were helping on the Father Joe case, that day in the hospital locker room?"

She did remember. It was the day she told him that she wouldn't be coming home, that she couldn't look into the darkness with him anymore. At the time, she couldn't ask him to stop pursuing it. Couldn't ask him to choose her instead. She nodded.

He nodded with her. "Well, that day, that conversation changed a lot for me." Dana flashed back to the hurt in his eyes and the way he tried to hide it from her. She had come back to the house, but it hadn't been easy. Not then and not since. "Scully, you told me to examine myself. You said to write it down. And I did."

"What do you mean, Mulder?"

Both his eyes brows lifted. "I started writing, Scully. I've been working on a novel."

"Mulder!" She saw her smile reflected in his face, saw his shoulders relax. "You're writing? Because I told you to?"

"Well, not exactly because you told me, Scully." He took her other hand, lifting it to his lips. "You told me to reimagine myself. And after I was done being pissed off about that, I started to wonder what that might be like." His eyes darted away from her again. "I saw a therapist for a while, talked through a bunch of things: the work, our relationship, my feelings for you. All of that encouraged me to think more about who I was, who I might become."

He looked back to her eyes, letting her see his open, vulnerable look. She stroked his cheek, her inside churning and a warmth blooming in her chest. She could feel tears gathering in her eyes.

"Mulder, that's amazing. I'm so proud of you." She leaned in and kissed him, a soft kiss that matched her feelings.

He pulled her close, one hand at the small of her back and one in her hair. The look on his face was a blend of tenderness and awe. He leaned in, resting his forehead on hers.

"Are you happy, Mulder?"

He remained still for a few heartbeats, then leaned back. His hands came up to her face. "I'm happy that I'm writing, Scully. Happy with that work. It's a good fit for me. But I can't be happy without you. You make me a whole person, Scully. That hasn't changed."

She hugged him tight. A few tears leaked from her eyes. Dana's heart was racing in her chest and she could hear his heart beat, slow, steady. This man who she had loved for years had remade himself, opened himself up to believe that he could be someone different.

"Scully, just so you know," he stroked her hair. "Back then, in the hallway when I said you made me a whole person, it was about the work and the way we worked together. The relationship we had back then was focused around the X files. Now it's about us, who we are. It's not about the work anymore. I need you Scully. I like the person I am when I'm with you."

She pulled away enough to look at him, a few more tears sliding down her cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs.

She smiled. "So this is what it's like for us to have an open, vulnerable relationship, huh?"

He nodded. "Is it what you wanted?"

"Yes," she smiled and kissed him. "Yes, it is."

 

  
Mulder was making sandwiches, claiming that the combination of sex, writing and honesty made him hungry. She had to agree, it was quite the combo.

"So tell me about your writing, Mulder." She was leaning against the kitchen counter, watching him. Dana wanted to see every detail of this new man she suddenly found herself with, wondering how he was different.

"Well, it started with journaling at the suggestion of my therapist," he stacked turkey on top of cheese. "But that was boring and miserable, so I started looking around for other ways to write. I took a creative writing class at the local college and that got me a bit more interested. We were assigned to research and read different genres and forms, so I got a good look around at what other people were doing. Plus, I had to write. Since I didn't have anything else to do with my time, I kept writing, kept taking classes. Started reading about writing."

He finished stacking lettuce and tomato on the sandwiches, adding a light brush of horseradish to his. They both picked them up and took a bite. "Go on," she urged him while she chewed.

"Hold on." He gulped down several more bites. This was the Mulder of the past. She could see the gleam in his eyes. He was excited, eating only because he needed to, ready to get back to what intrigued him.

"I took a few more classes locally. Up until then, writing was just something I did for work, I didn't ever really pay attention to the quality of it. So I took some classes on craft, when to a few fiction writing workshops."

"So you're writing fiction?"

"Yeah. For a while I focused on short stories. About seven months ago I decided I want to write novel-length story, so I've been working on that."

"Has anyone read it?" Dana's chest was tingling with excitement now, this new version of Mulder emerging in front of her.

He nodded, finishing the last bite. "Yeah. I joined a writers group about two years ago. It's been really good for me. I gravitated towards a group of people who are writing science-based fiction and we do a lot to support each other."

"You're in a writers group?" She couldn't imagine Mulder sharing his work. Or at least, not the old Mulder. "Do you meet?"

"No, we're spread out all over the country. We share stuff online, email each other drafts, edit each other's work. There are three other writers who I work closely with, so they've been reading my novel draft and working with me along the way.”

She stood looking at him, working on her sandwich. He watched her, tucking his hands into his pockets. Suddenly he looked shy, uncertain.

"Scully, I don't know what to make of that look on your face." She was staring intently, her head tipped to one side. "Is this okay with you?"

"Okay? Mulder, it's great. I'm excited for you. I can't wait to read it."

He leaned back, not quite stepping away, but the shift was noticeable. Now he was nervous. "Really?"

"Yeah. Unless you don't want me to."

He cleared his throat, still standing a few paces back. When he looked up into her eyes his expression changed. He stepped in front of her, running his hands up and down her arms.

"I can't believe we're having this conversation," he said, shaking his head. "I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you."

"Mulder, why? Why wouldn't you tell me?" She tried to hold his gaze, but he looked away again.

"Scully, writing fiction and publishing it," he paused, biting his lower lip. "It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's so... I feel so exposed. I write under a pseudonym and even so, its unlike anything I've ever done."

He didn't finish, but he did look up at her. There was a swirl of emotions on his face and in his eyes. "Sometimes I think it's easier to take a bullet than to publish a story." He laughed.

"I had no idea."

"Publishing, knowing that it's out there for the world to see and people are going to comment on it - this day of the internet makes it so easy for people to comment anonymously on your work - it's like showing up naked in Skinner's office knowing you're in for an ass chewing."

"That paints a clear picture." She cringed at the thought. "So, what about me - do I get to read your work? Should I google you? Do you write under MF Luder?"

He grinned. "No, I write under DK Scully."

"You do not!"

"No, I don't." He leaned in to her, corralling him with his arms, hands resting on the counter top on either side of her. "You want to read it, huh? I thought you didn't read for fun."

"I can't imagine anything funner, Mulder." She held his eyes, feeling like this was a new adventure for her too. She leaned forward planting a soft kiss on his lips.

"Okay, but go easy on me."

 

 

The afternoon light had faded from the living room, finally forcing Dana to turn on a lamp. She was curled up on the couch, reading Mulder's draft on her tablet. He was working away in his office and it had been hours since their sandwiches. Her stomach was rumbling, but she ignored it. She was a hundred pages into Mulder's book and she couldn't put it down. She knew the general advice was to write what you know, and Mulder had certainly capitalized on all of their experiences in the X files.

He was setting up a rollicking tale of two investigators - a man and woman who reminded her of them, but who were clearly not them - chasing reports of sightings of unidentified aircraft. It was a new spin on the early days of their investigations of UFOs, full of military cover ups and theories about military capabilities based on alien technologies. There was a group based on NICAP and even a Max Fennig type character weaving in and out as he set up the story. She could feel the tension building, something big was about to happen.

"Hey," he said, coming out of his office. "You're sitting in the dark." He moved through the living room turning on more lamps. "You still reading?"

"Mulder, I can't put this down.” He came up behind her, looking over her shoulder to see where she was in the story. A smile pulled at his lips, but he didn't say anything. She went back to reading.

"You ready for dinner?" He called from the kitchen, as the overhead lights flashed on. She could hear him pulling things out of the fridge, but she didn't look up. The noises in the kitchen continued and Dana kept reading, losing herself again.

"Hey." He stood at the end of the couch. She tried to read faster, knowing he was going to tell her it was time to eat.

She heard him chuckle. "Earth to Scully." He sat down on the couch and she pushed her toes under his thigh.

"Go away, Mulder. I'm reading."

He chuckled again. "I can't tell you how good this is for my ego," he said, leaning in and pulling the tablet away from her. "But it's time for dinner."

"Mulder, come on. Just a little bit more." She tried to grab the tablet back, but he put it down at the far end of the couch.

"Looks like you found a new hobby. But now you've got to put your toys away and come and eat."

She couldn't help it, she let her lower lip push out.

"Oh, pouty Scully. I like it." Then he leaned over her, pushing her back into the arm of the couch and kissed her thoroughly. By the time they came up for air, Dana was fully focused on the present again. He nipped her bottom lip. "You ready for dinner?"

"Hmm, maybe dessert." She pulled him in for another kiss. He lingered, his tongue exploring her mouth, his hand tweaking her nipple. Dana slid down to lay on the couch, Mulder resting between her legs. She could feel her excitement growing, and his. Writer Mulder was just as much of a turn on as Agent Mulder. She grabbed his ass and he groaned into her mouth.

He pulled away, looking down at her. His eyes were sparkling and she could feel his erection growing against her thigh. "I hate to put this on pause, but I've got a really good sauce simmering on the stove and I don't want it to burn."

She squeezed his butt again. "So go turn the sauce off and get back over here."

He was back quickly. "Where were we?"

"You were about to take my top off." She raised her right eyebrow.

"Yes. Yes, I was." He gave her a sexy grin.

Mulder pulled her t-shirt over her head, barley getting it off her arms before returning his hands to her breasts. As he stroked her nipples, circling and squeezing through the fabric of her bra, he held her eyes. His pupils were dilated and his irises were dark green. She'd seen these eyes plenty of times before. She smiled, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. God, was she happy to be seeing these eyes again. It had been too long since they'd had this kind of comfortable day together, this kind of easy love making.

"Umm, Scully," he dipped his lips to her neck, kissing the spot behind her ear that immediately raised her internal temperature. "I've missed us too."

He reached behind her and easily unhooked her bra and slipped it off. Then his mouth was at her left breast, his tongue working magic over her nipple and the sensitive flesh around it. He was heavy between her legs and the heat of his mouth was quickly stoking the fire in her belly. He moved his mouth to her other breast, his hand coming up to twist and pull at the nipple tingling in the air.

"Mulder." Dana groaned his name and ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying its silkiness. "Harder, Mulder, pinch just a bit harder."

He did and she gasped, her back arching. He moved up to kiss her mouth, his hips grinding his erection into her. He had this way of kissing her - diving in deep with his tongue then pulling away just enough that he could suck her lower lip before plunging in again. Kissing Mulder was one of the hottest things she had ever done.

"Scully, we've gotta get these jeans off." His eyes were dark with want as he slid down her body, unbuttoning then pulling the denim down her legs. He stood and took his off, no boxers in the way. A smile touched her lips.

"You still love it when I go commando, don't you?" He laughed, settling down between her thighs. He slid a hand down her chest and belly, then over her clit to dip briefly inside her.

Mulder kissed her, plunging his tongue into her mouth. She bent one knee, opening wider to him. Reaching down, he swirled the head of his cock around her entrance, teasing her with brief dips that just barely penetrated.

"Mulder," she pulled his hair in frustration.

"What Scully? Tell me what you want." He continued his teasing, flicking her clit with the head of his penis. Slow movements that drove her nuts.

"In me Mulder, I want you in me." She opened her eyes to watch him, seeing that he hadn't moved yet. She groaned. He wanted her to talk and she knew she'd have to do it to get what she so desperately wanted. She pulled him to her mouth. "Mulder, deep. Sink your cock deep inside me."

That did it. He lined up and with one smooth thrust was buried fully in her, engulfed by her heat and wetness. He started a slow, gentle rocking motion.

Mulder sucked her lower lip into his mouth, slowly letting go of it. "Is this what you want Scully?" His voice was like smooth, dark chocolate. God, he was amazing. Even from their earliest times together, Mulder seemed to know without asking exactly what turned her on and what sent her over the edge. He asked because he liked to talk.

"Mulder, yes," she groaned, her hands on his back, smoothing over his broad shoulders. Dana loved his back, his silky skin. "Mulder, faster."

He increased his pace, but it wasn't enough. She groaned again and he brought is hand to her clit, stroking and pinching, making her hotter. She could see he was still teasing her, holding back just enough so he wouldn't lose control while he pushed her faster to her edge. She had to change that. Dana pulled him back into a kiss, then moved to take his earlobe into her mouth. She sucked, biting just a bit as she let it leave her mouth. He closed his eyes and moaned. Now they were getting somewhere. Dana did it again, swirling her tongue over the lobe this time before she pulled her mouth away. She felt his cock twitch. He pulled his hand away from her, leaning down on both elbows. Here we go, she thought.

Mulder's pace picked up, driving faster and harder into her. Dana held on to his shoulders, mumbling into his ear, encouraging him, her hips rising to meet his. As he pumped into her, he pulled her left knee up towards her chest, rolling her pelvis forward. They both gasped.

"Oh, yeah, Mulder. Just like that. Just like that." He was hammering into her now and Dana was spiraling towards oblivion. He pinched her nipple, twisted and she was gone. Crying out to him, her insides clutching his cock, her orgasm blinded her with its intensity. His rhythm collapsed in the last few thrusts and he was flying too, pushing deep into her.

His movements slowed with the last of his orgasm. He fell onto her chest. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, breathing in the smell of him, of their love making on the couch.

Mulder raised up on his forearms, giving her some room. They were both still breathing hard. His forehead dripped sweat onto her chest.

"It wasn't this much of a workout ten years ago, was it?" He said, sucking in breaths.

"Yeah it was," her breathing was just a labored. "But we lasted longer back then."

"Oh, is that it?" He kissed her and started to pull away.

Dana held him in place. "Not yet Mulder, don't leave yet."

He looked at her, a tender, questioning look.

"I hate it when you pull out."

"You're pouting again," he kissed her and settle back in. "I'm not sure how long I can stay here."

"Just a few more minutes."

He laid his head on her chest, trying to keep some of his weight off her. She could feel him going soft inside her. Dana couldn't explain why, but she loved this feeling too.

"Scully, I'm not sure this is good for my ego. It's definitely not good for my back."

"Mulder," she spoke into his hair. "It's so intimate. I love this feeling of holding on to you till the very end." She flexed her vaginal muscles to bring the point home.

He hummed, kissing her nose and her hair. He kissed her lips again. "Scully, I love you. But I've got to get up before I can't walk tomorrow."

He pulled out and raised up onto his hands and knees, groaning again for an entirely different reason. "I'm getting too old..."

"Don't say it, Mulder. Don't say it," she cut him off. "We are not too old." She winked at him. "You still got it going on."

He smiled at her, standing up. "I'll get a towel. Hang tight."

Mulder kissed her as she cleaned up. With one last kiss he looked at her. "Now can we eat?"

"What is it with you and food today, Mulder?" She swatted his butt with the towel as he headed for the kitchen. "Usually I'm the one who always wants food."

"You've been working me hard, Scully. Gotta keep fueling the machine," he said as he turned on the gas under a pot of water.

 

  
They enjoyed their meal. He made a delicious dish, sweet Italian sausage and peppers in a tomato sauce. He'd even made a salad.

"This is my idea of a Saturday night at home, Mulder." She told him as she leaned back from her plate. "Great dinner."

"You didn't know I could cook like this, did you Scully?" He had a playful look in his eye.

"I'm learning all kinds of new things about you," she nodded. Had it been that long since she'd moved out? Sadly, she realized, it had.

"Well, I've been learning all kinds of new things, Scully." A smile hovered at his lips. It was a good look for him. Now that she thought about it, she'd seen it on him more today than she ever did back in the day.

"I like this look on you, Mulder. You look good. You look happy."

They did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, Mulder leading the way. She felt certain he was on a campaign to surprise her. When she mentioned it, he said it was one of his win back Scully tactics. When they were done in the kitchen they cuddled on the couch.

Dana was snuggled into him, her back pressed against his chest. His hand rested on her hip and one of his knees was in between hers. This was new, they'd never settled into the couch together like this. She liked it. A lot.

"Mulder, tell me more about your writing."

"What do you want to know, Scully?" He spoke into her hair.

"You've published some short stories. Tell me about that."

"I've published a dozen in various literary magazines and websites. When I first started writing, I was doing stuff more along the lines of cases we investigated, staying closer to the truth. But then I realized that if I wanted to be read by a larger audience, I needed to shift into a storyline that would be more widely accepted. I started to think about it more as providing entertainment than shouting the truth." He toyed with the pocket of her jeans. "It is an interesting question for me: do I want to tell the truth of the story as I saw it and have it read by a few nuts who are deep into alien conspiracy theories? Or do I want to tell a story that could be published by recognized publications that get more readers? That question is part of what really drew me in to the writing group I'm part of - other people there are asking themselves similar questions - although not about alien conspiracy stories. I found out that most writers are trying to decide how much of their truth they want to put on the page, and that really resonates with me."

"Sounds like you found your people."

"Yeah. These three folks I work most with - Danny, Madeline and Jim - we talk a lot about this question. For a while I had really cut back in how much I spelled out. Now, because of them, I put a lot more down on the page. I know they'll look at it and let me know if they think I've gone too far out there, if I've taken the story to a place that I'll lose people. They're each working with material that pushes the edges too, so it's something we're all sensitive to."

She turned her head towards him just a bit, leaning her temple into his jaw. "Sounds like you trust them."

"I do." He let out a long breath.

"Feels good, huh?"

"Yeah, it does." He slid his hand up and tangled his fingers in the ends of her hair. "Scully, these people have been with me on this writing journey for a while. You're new to it. I hope it doesn't bother you that I've got this relationship with them."

"It doesn't bother me at all, Mulder. I think it's great."

"Good, because they're still the first set of eyes that read my work." He spoke softly. This was new territory for them, him having a working relationship with someone else.

Shifting so she could see his face, Dana saw how important this was to him. She nodded. "You've got this life as a writer Mulder. Tell me what it looks like so I know where I stand. I don't want you to change things for my sake, just let me know how it works."

"Thank you, Scully. I've spent a lot of time learning to actually be a writer, to build my practice." He kissed her cheek. "Now that we're back on the X files, I've been trying to figure out how to make it work. Before, I had all day to myself. I'd get up, start writing at 7 and write until noon. Afternoons were for research. Now I can't do that. With this commitment to live together that's another constraint that I've got to fit it in to."

She understood that he didn't mean that he didn't want to live together, but rather he was trying to blend his life as a writer with her and the X files. She watched him twist her hair around his finger. Suddenly he raised his head to look at her. "Scully, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. "

"It's okay, Mulder. I took it the way you meant it." She stroked his cheek. "So how do you think this can work?"

He smiled and nuzzled his cheek with her nose. "That's a tough one, Scully. I like to write in the morning, but sleeping next to you makes it hard to get out of bed. I just want to hold you and breathe in your scent."

"You could write at night," she answered, stroking his fingers. She loved his hands, she always had. His long, elegant fingers and the strength there. There had been years when she looked at his hands and imagined what they could do to her body. Now as she looked at them, she started to see them as the hands of a writer.

"Hmm, I could. But then I'd miss going to bed with you, when I just want to hold you and breathe in your scent." He kissed her again. His kisses weren't meant to stir anything up, they were pure Mulder sweetness that made Dana's heart sing.

"Mulder, can I tell you that this is perfect, this snuggling on the couch with you," she said softly. "This is exactly what I want."

He laughed. "That's good to know, Scully. I'll have to pass it on." He twirled her hair. "I told Madeline, my writer friend, about you. She's a forensic pathologist out in California. When I told her that I wanted to win you back, she said I need to cuddle with you and share my feelings."

"She was right." She smiled, pleased. "I can't believe you talked to another woman about me."

"Yeah, well, this is serious." He leaned in so his mouth was right next to her ear. "I want you in my life, Scully. Permanently. Like this, not just because of the X files. I've been thinking about it, talking about it, for months. Jim and Madeline are probably tired of hearing it. It took you asking how the hell did we get here to get me moving. I stood there listening to you thinking, I've got to slow down and open up. That's what she needs."

"Slow down and open up. I like that Mulder, that's what we both need to do. You do have a way with words." She pressed her temple into his lips and he kissed her softly. "That's a good way of describing this. I couldn't have told you what I wanted, but this is exactly right."

"Yeah, it is."

"Tomorrow's Sunday. Do you think you'll write tomorrow?"

He nodded into her hair. "I've been writing every day for the last year and a half, up until we started back on the X files. Now I need to write, the day doesn't feel right without it."

"So if your office door is closed, I'll let you write."

He pressed another kiss into her temple. "Thank you."

*****************

**Author's Note:**

> Hi folks. I'm interested to know how you feel about the characterization of M & S in this story as we see them open and willing to be vulnerable with each other. I'm super interested to image what they would be like if Christ Carter and Company didn't always hold them back.


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